My book

Imagine if a matchmaking service used the same procedures as an eye doctor.

Imagine if the career of the future turned out to be a moneymaking pursuit from the past.

Imagine if a severe weather warning appeared on your TV just as the Red Sea was being parted in the movie “The Ten Commandments.”

Bill Kempin has imagined all these things and more. He presents his humorous perspective on circumstances worldly and otherworldly in the book “The Great, Grand, Glorious Scheme of Things,” available at and the Kindle store.

Bill possesses an eye for detail connected to a sense of the absurd that finds something askew in almost every situation. His observations and deductions may not unlock all of life’s mysteries, but they might produce laughter as you realize that you’re not the only person who thinks napkins are running rampant throughout what remains of civilization.

By the way, did you ever wonder how far behind you a woman must be before it isn’t rude of you not to hold the door open for her?

That answer and more can be found in “The Great, Grand, Glorious Scheme of Things.”